8 Tips to improve your comunication skills
By John Khu | On August 20, 2006 | In Writing and Speaking | Rated 
If you often have difficulty in starting conversations and
maintaining the interest of people you are speaking with, you
are just a member of what is probably the largest group of
humans on this planet – “nice people with less than perfect
communication skills”.
Your upbringing and life experiences may have made you
defensive or even negative about most people that you meet.
It might be that you just need to improve your socializing
techniques a little.
It is very unlikely that you can’t improve at all with the
help of my tips in this section. Of course, not all of my
suggestions will work equally well for every reader. You
will not need to improve at all in some areas anyway.
1. Accept compliments
==================
While we all crave recognition, many people find it very hard
to accept praise. Sometimes, their reaction sours the moment
for the person who offered the compliment too. If someone
praises you in a genuine manner, thank them. You can acknowledge
anyone else that deserves a share of the credit but take what is
due to you without fuss or false modesty.
2. Drop Your Fences (just a little!)
=================================
If we are tense about meeting people we don’t know but we want
to make a good impression with, that may cause our whole body
to start to prepare for flight (the most natural reaction to the
fear we are filling our mind with). That will cause the other
person to react at a very basic level to the unspoken signals
we are sending them. We should remind ourselves that there’s
little chance that they will attack us (muscles – relax!)
and counter the negativity with positive thoughts that we
can improve the other person’s day in the next few minutes.
Then, those positive vibes will cause a more positive reaction
in the other person.
3. Prepare your opening lines
==========================
Most experienced speakers rehearse their casual, off-the-cuff
remarks as well as their formal presentations. Otherwise, the
ad-libs might not work and tend to reduce their professional
image in the minds of the people they are talking with. So,
rehearse a few openings and don’t hesitate to take every chance
you get to use them. A simple, proven way to reduce any
butterflies is to ask yourself,
“What’s the worst that might happen?”
4. Ask Open Questions
==================
Closed questions can be answered with single-word answers such
as “Yes” or “No!” You can see that they just don’t give much
scope for your listener to open out the discussion. When you
start a conversation, you want an answer from the other person,
which you can use to continue the conversation and broaden the
range of it. “Did you enjoy the concert?” is a closed question.
“What did you like best about the Concert?” is an open question
that invites more conversation, even if they thought the concert
was the worst that they’ve ever seen.
5. Show Respect for Their Answer
=============================
Sometimes, you may not agree with their response, but please
don’t immediately push your opposite view at them. When you
begin the conversation, ask a question that will spark a
conversation, not a battle. Start the conversation as you want
it to continue.
6. Always Be Positive
==================
If you drop your troubles in your new acquaintance’s lap, their
reaction is not likely to be sympathy (except for themselves
for meeting you!) Whatever hassles you’re going through in your
life, leave them at the door. Try to be upbeat and interested in
everyone in the group and what they have to say. Give positive
re-enforcement to the people you talk with and keep away from
criticism of people that are not present. Keep away, as far as
possible from people that hack ‘absent friends’; just think what
those turkeys might be cackling about you when you’re absent
yourself.
7. Gag the gossip
==============
Gossip and rumor is always negative about someone. Don’t spread
it or encourage those who do by letting them foul your ears with
it.
8. Keep quiet
==========
Don’t pass on anything which other people tell you unless you
are sure they want you to. That they ‘probably won’t mind’ is
never a good enough reason. This will reinforce the good
impression you make. You’ve got two ears and one mouth – use
them in that proportion. If you think that you might be boring
your listener, stop drilling. Often, asking them something about
one of their special interests is the best way to get the
conversation going again.
maintaining the interest of people you are speaking with, you
are just a member of what is probably the largest group of
humans on this planet – “nice people with less than perfect
communication skills”.
Your upbringing and life experiences may have made you
defensive or even negative about most people that you meet.
It might be that you just need to improve your socializing
techniques a little.
It is very unlikely that you can’t improve at all with the
help of my tips in this section. Of course, not all of my
suggestions will work equally well for every reader. You
will not need to improve at all in some areas anyway.
1. Accept compliments
==================
While we all crave recognition, many people find it very hard
to accept praise. Sometimes, their reaction sours the moment
for the person who offered the compliment too. If someone
praises you in a genuine manner, thank them. You can acknowledge
anyone else that deserves a share of the credit but take what is
due to you without fuss or false modesty.
2. Drop Your Fences (just a little!)
=================================
If we are tense about meeting people we don’t know but we want
to make a good impression with, that may cause our whole body
to start to prepare for flight (the most natural reaction to the
fear we are filling our mind with). That will cause the other
person to react at a very basic level to the unspoken signals
we are sending them. We should remind ourselves that there’s
little chance that they will attack us (muscles – relax!)
and counter the negativity with positive thoughts that we
can improve the other person’s day in the next few minutes.
Then, those positive vibes will cause a more positive reaction
in the other person.
3. Prepare your opening lines
==========================
Most experienced speakers rehearse their casual, off-the-cuff
remarks as well as their formal presentations. Otherwise, the
ad-libs might not work and tend to reduce their professional
image in the minds of the people they are talking with. So,
rehearse a few openings and don’t hesitate to take every chance
you get to use them. A simple, proven way to reduce any
butterflies is to ask yourself,
“What’s the worst that might happen?”
4. Ask Open Questions
==================
Closed questions can be answered with single-word answers such
as “Yes” or “No!” You can see that they just don’t give much
scope for your listener to open out the discussion. When you
start a conversation, you want an answer from the other person,
which you can use to continue the conversation and broaden the
range of it. “Did you enjoy the concert?” is a closed question.
“What did you like best about the Concert?” is an open question
that invites more conversation, even if they thought the concert
was the worst that they’ve ever seen.
5. Show Respect for Their Answer
=============================
Sometimes, you may not agree with their response, but please
don’t immediately push your opposite view at them. When you
begin the conversation, ask a question that will spark a
conversation, not a battle. Start the conversation as you want
it to continue.
6. Always Be Positive
==================
If you drop your troubles in your new acquaintance’s lap, their
reaction is not likely to be sympathy (except for themselves
for meeting you!) Whatever hassles you’re going through in your
life, leave them at the door. Try to be upbeat and interested in
everyone in the group and what they have to say. Give positive
re-enforcement to the people you talk with and keep away from
criticism of people that are not present. Keep away, as far as
possible from people that hack ‘absent friends’; just think what
those turkeys might be cackling about you when you’re absent
yourself.
7. Gag the gossip
==============
Gossip and rumor is always negative about someone. Don’t spread
it or encourage those who do by letting them foul your ears with
it.
8. Keep quiet
==========
Don’t pass on anything which other people tell you unless you
are sure they want you to. That they ‘probably won’t mind’ is
never a good enough reason. This will reinforce the good
impression you make. You’ve got two ears and one mouth – use
them in that proportion. If you think that you might be boring
your listener, stop drilling. Often, asking them something about
one of their special interests is the best way to get the
conversation going again.